Life has a way of not meeting expectations. For example, right now I am laboriously hunt-and-peck typing because the maddeningly slow process of upgrading my operating system also seems to entail overriding my preferred keyboard layout and returning it to the bastard QWERTY that plagues the world.
Also not going to plan:
- A massive head cold has descended into the lungs, leaving me with a persistent and disturbing cough.
- My supervisor wants to wait for a second opinion on my draft thesis before signing off on it and moving it into the setting a date for the defence stage,
- The university has a mind bogglingly stupid set of requirements for graduating with a PhD, the specifics of which depend on the year study began and none of which are clearly stated anywhere. How the hell am I going to get a copy of my master’s grades?!? That was almost 8 years ago, and in a different county!
- I have heard nothing back on any of the job vacancies that I have applied for.
- Fitness plans have been completely derailed, partly because of the health issues and partly because I have no clear idea of when any important things are going to happen in the next 6 months. Date to graduate? Nope. Dates to travel to another continent to visit the family? Depends on the graduation. Dates for job interviews (that may require international travel)? Not a clue.
All of this is, to some extent, just whining and a bit of a pity party. None of these things are really stopping me from doing some fitness stuff, at least gentle yoga or a brisk walk to the park, although they are certainly stopping me from signing up for an expensive or international race. I find it much easier to train when I have a goal to plan for and a deadline to work towards… but honestly, I could find something else. A local or cheap race perhaps, or some kind of non-race based goal.
Unfortunately, the stress and uncertainty around the thesis and job applications is making that very difficult. Plus, I kind of feel like there are just more important things to deal with right now than fitness. Jobs are really important, right? And writing a whole damn thesis should earn me some time off, right?
While not untrue, I think this is unhelpful. Fitness would help me deal with the stress and uncertainty. Fitness is (ideally) also a joy, so how can I earn a break from something I enjoy? The real problem is that I don’t think I have built fitness into my actual life properly. I have just layered it over the top in such a way that as soon as it gets tough, the fitness is the first thing to peel away. Less than totally ideal. I shall have to work on that. Not sure how, because today I am trying to revise the draft of the thesis.